Wouldn’t it be nice to have a wise adult who you could alway rely on for great advice or support?
We often hear the voice of our inner critic, telling us we aren’t doing things right or other discouraging commentary. We might even have some core beliefs that are based on this perspective of the inner critic. Or we follow the voice of our inner child, who often just says “I don’t wanna! You can’t make me!” But we also all have a wise inner adult.
Some of us are easily in touch with our inner adult when taking care of commitments for others, but that voice is harder to hear when managing commitments to ourselves. For others, it’s the opposite, and for a blessed few the voice is always there! When we slow down and connect with our inner selves, we have a better chance of hearing the voice of our own wise adult.
My wise adult knows that daily meditation would be great for me; but my inner child says “you can’t make me!”
Shifting our inner dialogue so that we can hear the wise adult more loudly than the inner critic or child takes time and practice. It starts with noticing when we hear those voices, and labeling them so we can identify them more easily next time. Often the voice of the inner critic is based on a belief we have; once we can identify the voice we can start to identify the belief. For example, my inner critic might say, “only someone stupid couldn’t figure this out” when the wise choice would be to reach out for support. The underlying belief is that I should be able to do everything on my own, which is not very helpful when learning new things.
Beliefs are tricky things. We believe any number of things that we don’t realize. When we need that support or advice from our wise adult, we might first ask ourselves what beliefs we have that are relevant to the situation.
When something is challenging you in your life, what voice do you hear? Does that voice encourage or discourage you?
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