Barbara Alfors Coaching and Consulting

Be in choice, be aligned, know your path, know your genius.

Category: Blog Page 3 of 7

Using our Conscious Minds

white clematis flowers

I’m working on a presentation on centering for a women’s professional group here in Denver, and as I was gathering my research I came across a version of this statement:


An estimated 95% of our choices, behaviors, feelings, reactions, and decisions are made non-consciously.

Being somewhat fact-driven, I attempted to look this up and only found references to Gerald Zaltman, a Harvard professor, and his work on purchasing. And I found a discussion about how there’s no way to really measure cognition, but the 95% figure sounds reasonable based on all the things our brains are doing. This quote was particularly interesting:

“Consciousness appears to be a way to monitor and share the choices we make unconsciously. All the work to make most decisions is made before conscious awareness. The 95% is the actual cognitive effort of making decisions. The 5% is making up a story of why the decision was made.”

– John Light on Quora

So what does this mean in a practical sense? We operate mostly from the shortcuts that our brains have developed over the years, and we may not be making the best decisions or having the best reactions as a result. We have ingrained stories and beliefs that often are mostly untrue, and we base our actions on these stories.

And how do we change this? By developing awareness, and noticing when we are basing our reactions or decisions on reasons we haven’t fully processed.

I will be posting a resource list from my centering presentation and more info on how to use centering to develop awareness, so keep an eye out!


If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

Chasing Rabbits

Peter Rabbit

I often think about the power that stories have over us. I was reminded of a simple example the other day as I was planting baby corn seedlings in the backyard.

I was concerned that the rabbits in the yard might eat the tender leaves of the seedlings, but my mind immediately brought up the image of the farmer, Mr. McGregor, chasing Peter Rabbit out of the garden. And I thought, “I don’t want to be bad like Mr. McGregor! I won’t chase away the rabbits.”

If a simple children’s story has so much power to shape our thinking, decades later, imagine how powerful the stories of your own family are.

All families have their own stories; some more common, some more unique, that influence us throughout our lives. Being able to identify these stories leads you to being able to question them. Once you start questioning, you can start making your own conscious choices.

It’s been two days and only two leaves have been eaten. I’m hoping the bunnies don’t like corn.


If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

I don’t know where to start!

explore

The Value of Exploration

“I’m interested in coaching, but I don’t know where to start!”  This is a common concern for people considering starting a coaching engagement.

Coaching is something that is hard to understand until you’ve experienced it, and I completely understand this concern that you have to have things figured out before starting. But don’t worry, that’s what the coaching process can support you with! 

The beauty of coaching is that the coaching process helps clarify your thoughts, so that you know where to start. It’s not always an easy or direct process, depending on what’s getting in your way and what blind spots you are ready to explore.  

If you give yourself enough space and openness (in a safe environment), you will know what’s in your heart, and where your blind spots might be. A good coach will give you that space to safely explore. Spending time to figure out what’s most important is a crucial first step to a new coaching engagement. And along the way there will probably be new discoveries about beliefs or thought patterns that are holding you back.

The beauty of coaching is that you don’t need to know where to start. Your coach will help you identify your goals, and any issues you want to tackle.  


If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching,  contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.


Centering Resources

Here are a few of the resources I used to put together a presentation on centering (also see my centering techiques post):

15 Powerful Centering Methods to Reduce Stress, Increase Focus, and Make Better Decisions
https://scottjeffrey.com/center-yourself/#15_Transformative_Practicesfor_Centering
Includes section on how to center yourself, as well as discussion of centering from a psychological and spiritual perspective.


Calming Your Brain During Conflict
https://hbr.org/2015/12/calming-your-brain-during-conflict
Conflict wreaks havoc on our brains. We are groomed by evolution to protect ourselves whenever we sense a threat. In our modern context, we don’t fight like a badger with a coyote, or run away like a rabbit from a fox. But our basic impulse to protect ourselves is automatic and unconscious.


How centered leaders achieve extraordinary results
https://www.mckinsey.com/featured-insights/leadership/how-centered-leaders-achieve-extraordinary-results#
 “Five capabilities are at the heart of centered leadership: finding meaning in work, converting emotions such as fear or stress into opportunity, leveraging connections and community, acting in the face of risk, and sustaining the energy that is the life force of change.”  


How to ‘Keep Your Head in the Game’
https://www.verywellfit.com/how-to-keep-your-head-in-the-game-3120691
Centering is a practical skill that helps athletes stay focused on success, to avoid distractions, and to keep the negative self-talk from derailing a performance. It can help an athlete stay in the moment and let go of past and future thoughts, worries and plans.

Neuroscience Articles

“Amygdala Hijack and the Fight or Flight Response” by Arlin Cuncic: https://www.verywellmind.com/what-happens-during-an-amygdala-hijack-4165944

YANSS 093 – The neuroscience of changing your mind” by David McRaney:
https://youarenotsosmart.com/2017/01/13/yanss-093-the-neuroscience-of-changing-your-mind

“Reduce Emotional Hijacking with Emotional Intelligence”:
https://blog.ttisi.com/emotional-intelligence-prevents-amgydala-hijack

“Calming Your Brain During Conflict” by Diane Musho Hamilton:
https://hbr.org/2015/12/calming-your-brain-during-conflict

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