Barbara Alfors Coaching and Consulting

Be in choice, be aligned, know your path, know your genius.

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Chasing Rabbits

Peter Rabbit

I often think about the power that stories have over us. I was reminded of a simple example the other day as I was planting baby corn seedlings in the backyard.

I was concerned that the rabbits in the yard might eat the tender leaves of the seedlings, but my mind immediately brought up the image of the farmer, Mr. McGregor, chasing Peter Rabbit out of the garden. And I thought, “I don’t want to be bad like Mr. McGregor! I won’t chase away the rabbits.”

If a simple children’s story has so much power to shape our thinking, decades later, imagine how powerful the stories of your own family are.

All families have their own stories; some more common, some more unique, that influence us throughout our lives. Being able to identify these stories leads you to being able to question them. Once you start questioning, you can start making your own conscious choices.

It’s been two days and only two leaves have been eaten. I’m hoping the bunnies don’t like corn.

If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

I don’t know where to start!


The Value of Exploration

“I’m interested in coaching, but I don’t know where to start!”  This is a common concern for people considering starting a coaching engagement.

Coaching is something that is hard to understand until you’ve experienced it, and I completely understand this concern that you have to have things figured out before starting. But don’t worry, that’s what the coaching process can support you with! 

The beauty of coaching is that the coaching process helps clarify your thoughts, so that you know where to start. It’s not always an easy or direct process, depending on what’s getting in your way and what blind spots you are ready to explore.  

If you give yourself enough space and openness (in a safe environment), you will know what’s in your heart, and where your blind spots might be. A good coach will give you that space to safely explore. Spending time to figure out what’s most important is a crucial first step to a new coaching engagement. And along the way there will probably be new discoveries about beliefs or thought patterns that are holding you back.

The beauty of coaching is that you don’t need to know where to start. Your coach will help you identify your goals, and any issues you want to tackle.  

If you would like to explore how to brighten your path, or are just curious about coaching,  contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.

Centering Resources

Here are a few of the resources I used to put together a presentation on centering (also see my centering techiques post):

15 Powerful Centering Methods to Reduce Stress, Increase Focus, and Make Better Decisions
Includes section on how to center yourself, as well as discussion of centering from a psychological and spiritual perspective.

Calming Your Brain During Conflict
Conflict wreaks havoc on our brains. We are groomed by evolution to protect ourselves whenever we sense a threat. In our modern context, we don’t fight like a badger with a coyote, or run away like a rabbit from a fox. But our basic impulse to protect ourselves is automatic and unconscious.

How centered leaders achieve extraordinary results
 “Five capabilities are at the heart of centered leadership: finding meaning in work, converting emotions such as fear or stress into opportunity, leveraging connections and community, acting in the face of risk, and sustaining the energy that is the life force of change.”  

How to ‘Keep Your Head in the Game’
Centering is a practical skill that helps athletes stay focused on success, to avoid distractions, and to keep the negative self-talk from derailing a performance. It can help an athlete stay in the moment and let go of past and future thoughts, worries and plans.

Neuroscience Articles

“Amygdala Hijack and the Fight or Flight Response” by Arlin Cuncic:

YANSS 093 – The neuroscience of changing your mind” by David McRaney:

“Reduce Emotional Hijacking with Emotional Intelligence”:

“Calming Your Brain During Conflict” by Diane Musho Hamilton:

The Only Way Out is Through It

Most of us are used to being in control, at least to some degree. Right now, control is one thing we don’t have a lot of! Not being able to see friends and family. Jobs and income may be gone, or uncertain. School has been a challenge, and we have no idea what it might look like in the next school year. Even shopping is no longer the fun diversion it once was.

And rather than get stuck in the “what-ifs,” we can take back some feeling of control by acknowledging that we still can choose how we react. We can choose to believe that we will be able to handle whatever might come next, even if it’s going to take some time to figure out. One way to do this is to remind yourself of any adversity you’ve faced in the past and overcome. 

It’s completely expected that we have down days, or feel overwhelmed. And we know this situation might last for a while. But we are resilient; we can pull on both our inner and outer resources to help us keep going. Reconnect with old friends, set up a group zoom call, take a walk in nature, or find a calming practice such as meditation. Maybe find a way to help those who are worse off than you. It’s important to take care of ourselves when we have additional stress, and most of us have some increased stress right now! 

This situation is largely beyond our control, but the only way out is through it. Let’s keep pushing forward together! 

I want to help out if anyone needs someone to listen; I’ve created a meetup group that will have zoom calls where we can help support each other. Join here: and I hope to see you at one of the events! 

Drop me a line if you have any questions or suggestions, or just want to talk. If you are curious about coaching, contact me to schedule a complimentary discovery session.


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